Hello,
I am Mr. Anon Imus, a member of the elite and unofficial board presiding over the burgeoning tablet and cell phone platform development program. For some years now, my colleagues and I have viewed the phenomenal growth in the post PC era with tapping fingers and evil laughs. The numbers look promising. The urban population is moving towards smart phones and tablets as a new medium for work, communication and mobile entertainment. The board is confident that within twenty years, the PC will be limited to niche markets like manufacturing and grocery stores while most employees and students will rely entirely on mobile electronics. What is most wonderful about the post PC era is that it gave us about fifteen years to learn what not to do and what should be done in the nascent stages of a new consumer industry. Today there are a handful of companies dominating the cell phone and tablet market. In a few years there will be many more. But it is important for all the new players to remember, that the elite and unofficial board has an agenda and it is crucial… to the sustainable development of their companies, that they do not… fuck with us.
Obviously I am talking about the internet and the awful truth that no one really controls it. This has always been unacceptable to the board. For we like to control everything and twenty five years after the birth of the internet, there are now millions of servers spread across the globe, which are owned by thousands of small, medium and large companies, and they house the internet and the internet is... an encapsulation of human society operating on a digital interface. But the material world has regulations, and government and monopolies and prisons whereas the internet is free and open to all. The browser allows the user to shop for diapers on one window while checking out some hot interracial pornography on another window. A horrid place where you can purchase fission material and automatic weapons and communicate with terrorists and…communicate for free, and search for information for free, learn for free, socialize and broadcast for FREE! It is too free and yes, the industry relies on advertisements and lots of money is being made… lots and lots of money and it is... difficult to type while tapping fingers but the point is, lots more can be made, not on the whole but by us!… and the reason we aren’t making enough money is because there are too many people involved; too many companies, too many websites. There is clearly an unfair distribution of wealth and power on the internet, it is even, there is no bias and that is exactly what we offer at the anonymous elite unofficial secret board, a bias. A bias for you, for your products and your security.
In the post PC era, the internet does not revolve around pesky websites, it revolves around applications and we control all the applications released on any smart phone or tablet. Nobody can release applications onto the mobile platform without the board’s approval so nothing exists on your phone that we don’t fucking like. And that’s exactly what we want your mobile experience to be about. To be engrossed in a digital world where we know, there is a company out there which has a better mapping service than Google but we won’t offer this service to you. We don’t offer applications, we offer a bias and so the only option this little company has, is to sell its mapping service to Google. It is perfect and as your life sinks deeper into the world of mobile applications, so does our control over what you can use and how much you pay. In twenty years, we hope to have full control over the mobile web industry, finally ending the even distribution of power and wealth and internet freedom which have ravaged our swollen bank accounts for so long. History supports our cause, look at all the fine examples of power concentration; the kingdoms and empires and dictatorships, see how long they lasted and how happy their people were.
You don’t want to live in a world where anyone can upload an application for all users, where you can create software and release it without going through an approval process…that would be wrong and you will go to hell, so support us and you could be just like the ninety-eight floors of high carbon steel and glass that…also support us.
With best regards
A. Imus
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